I never understood this place, this world. And I certainly never understood people nor myself. This was frustrating because I have always been "blessed" with a massive curiosity on getting to know the soul of the world and my very own.
Eight years ago, while working at a Forensic Intervention Team, I woke up one day feeling deeply tired. It was a tiredness that couldn’t be resolved with sleeping. Combined with an unsafeness and panic that couldn’t be softened in any way.
The ground beneath me, and inside of me, had gone. I was lost.
A few tough days later, when 'The Dark Night of the Soul' by St. John of the Cross showed up on my screen, my soul understood. This crisis was something that I needed more than anything. The mystery that I was always drawn to was ready to be experienced and embodied. This was the moment where magic made its entrance in my life. Due to my decision to start opening up to my own deepest fears and pains. It was time for truth and waking up to myself.
And so I took off on a personal adventure, my own quest, which had simultaneously
set off a long time ago.
I took this picture (above) in a little town in Central India and if you look closely you can see a woman in the fields (between the leaves). She is dancing but at the same time she looks back.
I see my own process of liberation in her. Wanting to dance and live freely and at the same time feeling pulled back by my own created prison (of fear, doubt, uncertainty, past, present, future). To me, liberation is an ongoing birthing process due to the deliberate choice for a true life and a true self. And for that, we also need to be open to the falseness of ourself and life.
Below an impression of my background and experience.
I started roughly ten years ago exploring spirituality and myself. I gradually started feeling a growing desire and purpose to do this work myself, and I did.
Master's degree, Criminology
Casemanager, Forensic Intervention Team (FIT)
Coordinator, Dutch Council for Refugees (VWN)
Tibetan Buddhism Training, India
Year Shamanic Training Quest to Self Remembrance, Netherlands
Vision Quest Training, Greece
Ayahuasca retreats/ceremonies, Portugal and the Netherlands
Priestess (sacred feminine) Training, England
Year Training (breath- & bodywork, soul retrieval etc.) Sacred Voyage, Netherlands
Awakening Dakini (feminine) Power Training, Spain
Vision Quest Teacher Training, School of Lost Borders, USA
Guide at ayahuascaceremonies/retreats, Netherlands and Portugal
Facilitator Nature Rituals and Vision Quests, Portugal
THE PICTURE below WAS TAKEN JUST
AFTER the RETURN from MY FIRST
VISION QUEST IN CRETE, in 2014.
NEVER FELT SO RAW, SOFT, WARM,
HAPPY, GRATEFUL.. but above all,
I remembered from that day on what
it feels like to be
The Vision Quest will sometimes be carried by two guides.
More info will follow soon.